I used to be one of “those” women. I would look seductively at the camera, angled just right, and take 50 pictures until I got the shot I wanted. I knew when I got that shot and posted it on Instagram or Facebook, my phone notifications would start blowing up with ‘likes’ and comments, mostly from men who filled my head up with praises and lavish compliments. I felt a sense of power over these men.
Most of these men would then privately message me to feel me out to see how much I was willing to interact with them. After many years of this, I realized these men were really just wanting to have sex with me under the guise of trying to get to know me.
Even after I really began focusing on my walk with God, I encountered highly respected men of God who would still solicit the same things from me. One day, after a series of heartbreaking relationships over a short period of time, I’d had enough. I made up my mind that I would never allow myself to be the object of another man’s sexual gratification. I was worth more than that.
I didn’t fully realize the extent of my own issues when I would put myself out there provocatively, but I was very much aware of the cause and effect. I knew sexy or seductive pictures caused men to lust after me and want me. I also knew I was far too focused on and impatient to find “the one” and settle down and get married. So much so that I was making myself available to a population of men I was never meant to entertain.
Women who constantly put themselves out there in a provocative, seductive way on social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook are desperate for attention. There is this need to feel validated, accepted, and wanted. They feel validated by the attention they receive and feel powerful. They know they have a power over the men who lust after them and the women who wish they looked like them.
This desire for attention becomes an insatiable monster. The more attention they receive, the more they crave it. They never feel fulfilled. The core issue is low self-esteem.
After I completely surrendered my life to the Lord, my entire perception of everything changed, including myself.
I encourage every woman to conduct a self-examination. There is nothing wrong with receiving compliments—I think we all need to be uplifted every once in awhile, just be very real and honest about your motives when you take and post pictures of yourself. Pay attention to your eyes and mouth…those are the facial features used to look seductive. Full body shots from the back or side are clear thirst traps. Breasts and cleavage on display is a thirst trap.
The way you carry yourself will determine the type of man you will attract. Thirst traps attract thirsty, lustful men. And what woman wants that problem in her marriage??
Focus on being the woman God created you to be and doing His will in your life and take your focus off getting a man/husband. I did and have so much more peace!
If you have a personal testimony of overcoming self-esteem, please feel free to share in the comments below!