I have never met my biological father. This was something that really bothered me as a very young man to the point that I lashed out in anger sometimes. To others, it likely appeared that I was just being mischievous for no reason, but it was actually an outward expression of negative thoughts and feelings of neglect that I sometimes had. As I got older, it lessened, and that tricked me into thinking that I was getting over the fact that I had a father out here somewhere who didn’t love me enough, or possibly didn’t know about me to be in my life and show me what a man’s love toward his son should look like.
I wasn’t really over it, I just learned how to get better at absorbing and masking my pain. Many men have become good at this and it has given women the false notion that men are not as emotional as they are, and ladies, I’ll let you in on the truth—that is a lie! It’s just the environment of competition with other men that causes us to stuff our feelings way down into our being and wear the poker face of masculinity.
It was not until I heard the gospel that I learned that we all have a father, our Creator, and regardless of the circumstances surrounding our human guardians, His love toward us all is guaranteed and it is we who can choose to shun or embrace that love. The word of God taught me about our sin and the forgiveness of God. It taught me that my sin is no better than that of my earthly father and so I was able to forgive him and get baptized into the faith.
When my son was born, that became a reality check for me. Whose example was I going to follow as a father? My lust and selfishness put me in a scenario that caused my son’s mother and I to break off our relationship and now I was stuck wondering if I was just about to repeat the same pattern that I was born into. It was difficult, but with counsel and a mind that was determined to not become the very thing that I grew to hate as a child, I was able to slowly get my life together and I’m happy to say that I’ve been able to raise my son in spite of the hurdles that his mother and I created for him and ourselves.
God does not promise us easy, but if we are faithful, he does promise us victory! I want to encourage all my brothers in the faith by saying, if you really lean on God and His Word and not solely on your own mind and emotions, you can break the cycle of the deadbeat father. Praise our Father.