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Should We Marry for Love or Money?

I’ve heard various opinions on whether people should marry for love or money. But what does this really mean when we say “marry for love” and “marry for money”?

Here’s what the Bible says about love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love suffers long and is kind; 

love does not envy;

love does not parade itself,

is not puffed up; 

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

thinks no evil; 

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never fails…

The one thing I will say about marrying for love is that if you don’t have money to handle responsibilities, emergencies and eventually retirement, then these things listed about what love is will be thoroughly challenged in a marriage especially once the children come. Just consider that.

Here’s a scripture about what money can do for marriage; Ecclesiastes 10:19:

A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.

When the bills are paid, the mother is at peace for her children’s needs and can be the wife to her husband. Sex comes more easily. There’s money for better education and family vacation time, and stress is reduced knowing you have more financial stability in times of trouble.

However, money doesn’t ensure peace of mind nor does it ensure a happy life. You could marry someone for money and desire someone without any and therefore possibly commit adultery. You could feel trapped in a financially well-off marriage to someone and still feel alone or in an emotional prison. You may have no attraction nor anything in common with the person except for their money and could be left feeling absolutely miserable.

When money is low, love must be ever so present. When there’s no food, it gets harder to laugh. When there’s no money, the temptation to illegal gains suddenly feels like an option. So there should be a balance of financial and emotional stability along with spiritual maturity to handle life as a family.

The apostle Paul suggests in 1 Corinthians 7, that unless you burn with passion, it’s best to not marry at all because your concerns shift from the Lord to worldly needs. He said this isn’t a sinful thing, but that married life can distract us from our focus on Christ.

So I bring up Paul, not because he’d rather believers stay single, but because of his motivation to remain focused in Christ. In all our ways we must acknowledge the Lord and He will direct our paths (Proverbs 3:6). Our quest in life doesn’t stop at a successful family life. It’s to glorify God. So it’s way bigger than money, careers, family and sex. These things only challenge us to work out our salvation in Christ Jesus.

In the scriptures, marriages came about in various ways, but it was always expected that the family be cared for. The Bible even says in 1 Timothy 5:8:

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

So should we just marry for love? It’s clear to me that a couple needs both love and money. If a woman and a man are young with no children, then they have the wiggle room to produce more wealth together with less struggle that could affect their marriage. However, if they are older, have children or many financial obligations already, then it’s clear that there must already be a working plan in action for providing for the family long-term. Finances don’t have to be perfect but wisdom and self-discipline must abound with the couple as they grow in love and honor for one another.

What do you think about this? Sound off in the comments if you like and share!

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About Essence Yarbrough

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