Them: “It’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship!”
Whenever I hear others using statements like “It’s better to be single than…(insert something extremely negative)…” to encourage singles, I’m frustrated for the women they think they’re helping. Fam, the least we can do when a single woman comes to us for insight and encouragement in attaining her marriage goals is not to underestimate or undermine her ability to obtain those goals!
Your friend could want a whole, righteous, community-engaging, youth-mentoring, business-building man, and you tell her it’s okay she’s still single because she’s avoiding bad men! When that’s the most encouragement we have, we’re basically saying a bad relationship is the best we can expect for her to have in life.
Others may continue to insist, “But Torah, isn’t what we said true!? I want my single friends to be happy! Do you want singles to be in bad relationships??”
No, Sis, and they don’t want that for themselves, either! While your “encouraging” statements to singles just happen to be true, the point you’re missing now is that along with being true, they are irrelevant, negative-minded (discouraging) instead of positive (encouraging), and (more than likely) actually insulting to your friend’s character.
Still not convinced you can do better? Check out my video below:
Does that sound like singles are bound to fall into bad relationships? Nope!
Thank you so much for hearing me out on how we can do better at encouraging singles we know. I’d love to hear from you. Has anyone ever given you backhanded encouragement? Have you ever given any to someone else? Share your stories in the comments below.
Until next time,