Sunday , May 26 2019
Home / Culture / How Your Choice in Men Shows That Black Lives Don’t Matter

How Your Choice in Men Shows That Black Lives Don’t Matter

As I’ve heard the black community shout “Black lives matter!” I’ve questioned the sincerity of it. For the sake of the crying mothers, angry fathers and sobbing children, I grieve the losses within the black community. Talent and potential has been lost from a community already so broken. The black community is in need of more people focused on Christ who have healthy mentalities, lifestyles and focused on building solid families.

Yet I also grieve for those in the black community who seem to miss or disobey the messages to do right by one another. What do we do when the black community shouts that black lives matter yet we have women like the beautiful Yung Miami proclaiming how she likes and wants “dope boys” and “bad boys”? Where are the black voices crying out to teach this grown 20-something year old rapper to do better? I’ve grown tired of the “hood nigga” persona and narratives. Hood culture has more-so become another block that the gospel is called to.

These poor choices in men are harmful to the black community in particular, and this female rapper (like others) has a huge following of young black girls and women who look up to her. Yung Miami already has a child with a man she’s had to get a restraining order on for threatening and stalking her. She also claims he’s failed to properly provide for their child. Apparently her child’s dad wasn’t the right type of hood for her? Yet somehow she still wants more of the same by proclaiming how she only desires to be with dope boys and bad boys. (Check out Yung Miami’s hood proclamation below).



This is insanity and I know because I used to think just like her, only instead of vibing with Yung Miami, in my day it was Lil Kim and Foxy Brown. The extra sad part is that too often I’ve seen this mentality move right into the church. If this is the standard women present, then what does this teach our children? Where are we headed and how do we address this in the body of Christ? I’m deeply concerned.

Christ helped me to see how much I felt unworthy of someone moral and Spirit-filled. My eyes were still dark and my whole body followed. Once Christ began revealing His light, then I could begin to see and my flesh follow. Going to Christ gives us new and godly desires and teaches us new patterns of thought that align to His will. We should desire His will.

A while back I wrote an article about why we choose the bad boy. Honestly, I could write a short book about it. This issue flows much more deeply than what I’ve already presented in my other article. The point is that who we choose as our romantic partners is typically a reflection of what we have going on within ourselves.

The Bible says that out of the heart flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). Who we choose can reveal our issues. Also, where our treasure is, there also is our heart (Matthew 6:21). When we as women (and believers) continue to support unhealthy patterns such as desiring mentally and spiritually unhealthy men, and having children and creating broken homes with these men, we show in a very subtle way that black lives nor God’s will for us do not matter, or else we’d raise the standards.

How can we support and lay with men who deal drugs and abuse others and then say that our lives matter? We must do better and be better role models.

Liked it? Take a second to support GrowTheHeckUp on Patreon!

About Essence Yarbrough

Mama Bear of two. Author of Wisdom In Red: The Words of Jesus. (Writer by grace of the Author.) Patiencepreneur.

Check Also

There Is Opportunity to Grow When God Shows Us Who We Really Are

Lately I’ve come face-to-face with my fallen humanity in ways that are extremely uncomfortable. God …