“Ain’t nothing wrong with entertaining a man with flaws (we all have them) but you need to know when to throw the whole man away” ~TorahCents
Hey, pretty lady! I want to talk you through a truly simple process for inspecting a man’s moral and mental qualifications to be with you. To succeed with this method of evaluation you only need three things: The process itself, and the discipline and discernment necessary to implement it in your dating life.
We want men to know we know they’re imperfect human beings just like us. I cannot emphasize the importance of creating space for men to be emotionally vulnerable with you enough, sis. It fosters intimacy which makes men feel seen and actually allows you to observe their authentic M.O.
While you’re creating a connection with a man, you want to observe him in the connections he already has, which brings me to the first step in the evaluation process: Check his relationships. Are they clear, enduring, and varied, or are they suspect, limited, and few and far in between? One of my favorite questions, “Who do you say “I Love You” to?”
Mistakes don’t equate to character flaws. Intentions, motives, and patterns do! Patterns in behavior begin with patterns in thought. That’s why the second step to evaluating a man’s character is to check his decision-making. How do his emotions impact his behavior? How does he handle challenges or failure? Can he explain his thought processes when asked?
When we’re wrapped up in the way a man makes us feel, we need objective minds to weigh in on our assessment of his value to our lives. So, finally, step three: Check yourself and have your support system check you. What are the members of your support system concerned about with this man? Have they been given access to vet him properly? Does he (or do you) edit the reality of your relationship to receive less or more favorable commentary from your support system?
Let me know in the comments which step you appreciated me going over the most.
Until next time,