You are awesome mom! But you are not my dad. Don’t be alarmed. My statement is not meant to be disrespectful—it is meant to totally express the pedestal of motherhood and the tireless work you’ve invested into my life and I don’t want it to be marred by being mixed with the pedestal of fatherhood. I now understand that when the Lord made man and woman, that even the man recognized in naming the woman Eve, that she would be the “mother” of all living, and he the “father.” You are my mother.
You had me while you were barely old enough to take care of yourself; or maybe you had me under the traditional family structure of being married by the time you got pregnant. Whether you were the teenage mom or the young adult woman who had a husband, your womb experienced the same processes of conception and birth. No matter how many children you babysat, or how many books you read; and no matter how many friends you had with children, none of it really prepared you for the reality of me coming into the world.
Your body immediately started to change and prepare itself to accept my growth and there was nothing you could do to change that. Even if you would have chosen to abort me ( thanks for not considering that), your body would have continued until it finished its process as if you were still going to take care of me. That physical reality is a manifestation of a greater spiritual principle that you showed by laying down many of your goals and ambitions at the time, whether you wanted to or not, in order to dedicate yourself to my rearing.
I know you and my father may have been very young and you had me while you were still a teenager. I know you may have been with my dad in a marriage covenant when you had me and then the marriage failed and you were stuck with me. Whatever the situation, you tried your best to never let me feel that your hardships and difficulties were my fault but that they were simply what you signed up for when you had me.
I don’t know if we say this enough as men, but we love you. Not because you are the example of perfection and flawless decision-making. No. But in spite of your imperfections and flaws, you still demanded that we strive for perfection, and when our efforts had fallen short of your expectations, you demanded that we get up and dust ourselves off and keep striving for that. That is the same thing that I now understand wisdom to be, which expresses itself in the nurturing statement of the “righteous falls seven times and gets back up.”
Thanks for the strength you’ve shown me, mom. Whatever my father may have done or didn’t do, it in no way diminishes from the stalwart and sometimes mountainous figure you have been in my development. Even as I walk into fatherhood, I hope to exemplify your selflessness, loyalty and sacrifice. I learned that from you mom, not my Dad. Thank you.