Narcissism is when a person believes life is all about them. They have a grandiose view of themselves but sometimes it’s hard to recognize. That sounds like all of us in these times, if you ask me, but with narcissists it’s extreme. It’s a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde situation and often goes unnoticed until later on, and by the time people see it they’ve either already been used or hooked by the narcissist.
Here are a few things you should know when it comes to engaging with a person with narcissistic traits:
1. Please know that if you make a person aware that you notice their narcissism they may get angry and try to hurt you and make you question yourself. They can be easily offended.
2. They feel insecure or may lose interest in you if they can’t control how they want you in their lives.
3. A person operating in narcissism may also poison others views about you by spreading lies trying to turn others away from you.
4. They may say hurtful things to you and may seem cold but they justify it by telling you they’re “being real” or say things like, “At least I’m being honest with you.”
5. They’re quick to tell you that you’re too emotional no matter how valid your points. You may grow timid of making them feel displeased, uncomfortable or inconvenienced.
6. Regardless of what many people say, people do get delivered from narcissism.
7. Narcissism often comes from having a traumatic childhood or certain events that occurred that have caused people to create an outer shell of protection. They create a mentality for subtle manipulation and create various walls around themselves to help control the people around them and their environments. They want people to think of them in one way while they have an underlying personality that conflicts with their social representative. All of their narcissistic practices are typically expressed very covertly to protect their reputation.
8. My advice is to turn from people like this who don’t want help. They feed off of the attention you give them, which is called “narcissistic supply”. When they’ve achieved all they feel they want with people they may end the relationship. There’s no reasoning with them because their walls are always up and they must keep an upper hand. Pray for them from afar and stop making yourself available to them.
The video below outlines more signs that you’re engaging with a narcissistic person. When it comes to relationships remember to “put your confidence in the Lord and not in man” (Psalm 118:8) no matter how fine they are or how good you felt they treated you in the beginning.