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4 Tips for Being a Better Husband

I often evaluate how well I measure up as a husband, and several years ago I came across Exodus 19:5 which tells us that we are God’s treasured possession. The way this scripture helps me is not by applying this to myself, but to my wife.

The bible says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” Proverbs 18:22. A good wife for any husband is a blessing. Not because the husband has great wisdom, but because God has provided sovereignty. It is for this reason that it must also be said that a good wife is also of infinite worth and value. Such a blessing from God must be cherished.


The term “good” in most cases is relative like a good song to you may not be a good song to me. The same thing applies here, which is what makes it such a blessing. A good wife to a husband is a wife who creates happiness or provides an advantage to his life—someone who helps his well-being in any respect, or makes him well off.

That said, here are four ways to nurture the gift that God has blessed in your life:

  •  Motivate her:
    Women take on a lot of stress. Men do too, but we’re talking about women. Some health professionals would agree women are susceptible to stress due to the short amount of time spent nurturing their own emotional and physical needs. That said, motivating her shows you care about her success and well-being. For some women, putting themselves first is perceived as selfish. Motivating her reveals that you love her and that you believe in and respect her.
    Note: An example would be writing scriptures on the bathroom mirror or sticky notes in her purse. Another would be encouraging her to pursue the dreams she once had.
  • Arrange personal time:
    Similarly to the previous tip, you arranging personal time shows that you encourage your wife to invest time in herself. This tip is vital and should be made consistent, so she has something to look forward to during stressful times. If your wife is going to be the helper alongside you, then it would behoove a husband to make sure she has a chance to re-energize. Self-care, or as some would call it “Soul-Care,” is of utmost importance. Proverbs 12:4 teaches us that a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. Well, to keep that crown shining, it must be polished and restored to keep it at its impeccable condition.
    Note: Budget for these times, so no one feels as though this time is a burden on finances or an excuse to follow through.
  • Pay attention to her and share her responsibilities:
    These two work together. My wife is one who does not always want help, but there used to be times when her request for help would come to me too late until I learned the philosophy of “the straw that broke the camels back.” I knew it was my responsibility to protect her, but I was not. We think protecting our wives is not letting someone put their hands on her. Protecting is also done by paying attention to your wife intentionally listening, and patience. The objective is to prevent the straw from breaking the camel’s back. As you grow with your wife, you learn the signs of when she’s had too much. In the Old Testament, the word responsibility refers to uplifting, bearing, or carrying a burden or liability. We must share that responsibility. We are commanded to love our wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). The love toward my wife should reveal the love of Christ. In the same manner, like Christ’s love, a husbands love should be concerned about her happiness and welfare more than his own.
    Note: Pray for God to reveal those opportunities to you and increase your level of compassion and grace.
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About Raymond Mills

Raymond Mills, Sr. is a Master of Divinity candidate at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in Boston, MA. He believes in bringing hope to the fatherless generation and encouragement to those that have lost hope with the word of God. He is a writer for Grow The Heck Up. His blog, Living A Renewed Life, was created to show others your best is yet to come and it is never too late to turn the page. Raymond also serves as a Minister and mentor to other young adults at his home church in Providence, RI. Raymond is married to his best friend, who has blessed him with two beloved children.

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